Do We Need to Always Assert Ourselves?
We have been told in our culture that in order to get ahead we must "take the bull by the horns" and assert ourselves lest we be pushed aside. We have been told that "nice guys finish last" and so we endeavor to become as forceful as we can be. However, is it possible that the best way is not by force, but by love? To read the commands give us we realize that the root emotion is pride; that we are of our own making. What scripture tells us is often opposite, that wisdom comes when we are humble.
Proverbs 11:2 (NASB)
[2] When pride comes, then comes dishonor,
But with the humble is wisdom.
Paul, even though he was an apostle, did not assert himself, but became meek towards those entrusted to him. In fact, this meekness centered around spiritual warfare, not going to battle "in the flesh" but in the spirit.
2 Corinthians 10:1-4 (NASB)
[10:1] Now I, Paul, myself urge you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ—I who am *meek when face to face with you, but bold toward you when absent! [2] I ask that when I am present I need not be bold with the confidence with which I propose to be courageous against some, who regard us as if we walked according to the flesh. [3] For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, [4] for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but *divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.
Paul also indicated that we should walk worthy of what we have been called to do, in humility and gentleness. That doesn't sound like we should assert ourselves does it? We are to show tolerance towards one another in love.
Ephesians 4:1-7 (NASB)
[4:1] Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, [2] with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, [3] being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. [4] There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; [5] one Lord, one faith, one baptism, [6] one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.
[7] But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ's gift.
Jesus, when discussing the giving of gifts to God, indicated that it was extremely important to have things right between us and our brother. Reconciliation is not something that someone who asserts themselves would aspire to.
Matthew 5:23-24 (NASB)
[23] “Therefore if you are presenting your *offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you,[24] leave your *offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your *offering.
We are called upon to a higher order which includes such things as being harmonious and sympathetic and kindhearted. These are some things which could be considered foreign to our cultures way of thinking.
1 Peter 3:8-9 (NASB)
[8] *To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; [9] not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but *giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.
Paul, indicates that a better way is to not seek glory from men, but to be gentle towards others and to pledge our lives to the same.
1 Thessalonians 2:6-8 (NASB)
[6] nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others, even though as apostles of Christ *we might have *asserted our authority. [7] But we *proved to be *gentle *among you, as a nursing mother *tenderly cares for her own children. [8] Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own *lives, because you had become *very dear to us.
So to answer the first question, no, we don't need to always assert ourselves. The better way is to be considered faithful and gentle and be someone that can be trusted to always have the best in mind for those we come into contact with.
- LW
Proverbs 11:2 (NASB)
[2] When pride comes, then comes dishonor,
But with the humble is wisdom.
Paul, even though he was an apostle, did not assert himself, but became meek towards those entrusted to him. In fact, this meekness centered around spiritual warfare, not going to battle "in the flesh" but in the spirit.
2 Corinthians 10:1-4 (NASB)
[10:1] Now I, Paul, myself urge you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ—I who am *meek when face to face with you, but bold toward you when absent! [2] I ask that when I am present I need not be bold with the confidence with which I propose to be courageous against some, who regard us as if we walked according to the flesh. [3] For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, [4] for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but *divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.
Paul also indicated that we should walk worthy of what we have been called to do, in humility and gentleness. That doesn't sound like we should assert ourselves does it? We are to show tolerance towards one another in love.
Ephesians 4:1-7 (NASB)
[4:1] Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, [2] with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, [3] being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. [4] There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; [5] one Lord, one faith, one baptism, [6] one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.
[7] But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ's gift.
Jesus, when discussing the giving of gifts to God, indicated that it was extremely important to have things right between us and our brother. Reconciliation is not something that someone who asserts themselves would aspire to.
Matthew 5:23-24 (NASB)
[23] “Therefore if you are presenting your *offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you,[24] leave your *offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your *offering.
We are called upon to a higher order which includes such things as being harmonious and sympathetic and kindhearted. These are some things which could be considered foreign to our cultures way of thinking.
1 Peter 3:8-9 (NASB)
[8] *To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; [9] not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but *giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.
Paul, indicates that a better way is to not seek glory from men, but to be gentle towards others and to pledge our lives to the same.
1 Thessalonians 2:6-8 (NASB)
[6] nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others, even though as apostles of Christ *we might have *asserted our authority. [7] But we *proved to be *gentle *among you, as a nursing mother *tenderly cares for her own children. [8] Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own *lives, because you had become *very dear to us.
So to answer the first question, no, we don't need to always assert ourselves. The better way is to be considered faithful and gentle and be someone that can be trusted to always have the best in mind for those we come into contact with.
- LW