The Living Sacrifice - Me

Here I am contemplating the meaning of Romans 12 in light of the Living Sacrifice thing. I have already looked into the meaning of the phrase "renewing of your mind". I came to the conclusion that it is a process which goes on for a long time in that you are trying to see things the Lord's way. You are trying to take His viewpoint on everything, looking as it were through his glasses. In coming to grips with this statement, I have begun to see that I have not been living my life quite the way that I should be living it. It came home to me in the ABF Class when I found out that I had a pride problem. I found myself in the rather bad position of having to quit something that I really enjoyed in order for the Lord to have a chance to deal with that problem, namely teaching. I am still at a loss to know what the Lord wants me to do with my life from this point forward, but I strive to wait on His leading. The Lord's direction seems to be one of letting you go in a given direction but looking for how you spend your life (He is more interested in the How rather than the What or Where). Do I trust in myself, or do I trust in the Lord? That is the question that must be formost in my mind. Rom 12:2 states, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what Gods will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." I think my first step in that process was to leave the ABF Class. In a way, I may have been using the class as a crutch to keep from having to get closer to the Lord. That seems counter intuitive but when your only contact with the Word of God is through the lessons that you are putting together, you loose the focus that comes with the Holy Spirit guiding you into His Word. I think that I need to "go back to school" as it were and let the Lord teach me new truths that I in turn can share with others when the need arises. I am not sure what my relationship to my wife has to do with this but it may be necessary to leave our present church after 30+ years and seek out another assembly, to learn new lessons. I am not sure at this point, but I will wait on the Lord's leading, being open to the suggestion. I am no longer in ministry, but that is okay with me as long as I am in the Lord's hands and walking down the path that He has set for my feet. The verse above seems to indicate that I need to test and approve what God's will is. That is very new to me. It would seem that when I get to the point of deciding what I think is His will, that I need to perform a test to see if that is indeed His will. Tested with scripture, tested with council, tested with prayer. The Lord will not let me go down a path that He does not want me on. He can put a quick stop to any forward progress, similar to what happened to Paul when he was in asia minor. I think in this instance, I need to be more aware of what He would like me to be and do, rather than making an assumption about my circumstances. The days are growing short and I need to be aware of the events around me. Perhaps I am being primed to be used in some way in these last times. Only time will tell. I only want to do what the Lord wants me to do - now I need to find out what that truly is.